Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Journey

The last few months David and I have struggled and asked God's guidance in our life as we tried to understand where he wanted us to be. This past year has brought several job inquiries into our life and has left me asking the question "What is God's plan for us?".

I never thought that I would end up back in Victoria and would be lying if I said I was full and ready to come back to this town. Never the less, God had the perfect plan for us and placed us here just at the perfect time! I have been fortunate because of His plan to be able to stay at home with my babies and be the full time mom I desired.

I remember this because even though everything right now seems so chaotic and uncertain I am sure that He has a plan in store for our family. The hardest part of the plan is being patient and letting Him lead us while it unfolds.

I am sad at the thought of leaving good friends and nervous at the prospect of being tossed into a new place where it is necessary for me to try and establish me and the kiddos. The great thing is that He will walk beside me every step of the way. Life is a journey and it is fun, scary, exciting, and sad all at the same time. Right now please encourage me as I set my eyes on him and let him lead our family in his perfect plan.

Nothing is certain...

... in life except for our Creator and His love for us.


I received word today that seems to tell me that David's job is in jeopardy of fading away relatively soon. My first instinct of course is to be scared to death and worried for the financial security of our family. My next instinct is to run to God. I know, not exactly the order in which He would prefer me to think but I am seriously flawed in this area of my life.

You see I like to be in charge of, well everything. I have prided myself all my life in making in things happen. Just tell me one thing you think I can't do and I am out to prove you wrong in a heartbeat. Can't become a serious drill team member when I never danced before? Watch me. Can't pull a 4.0 off after a 1.7 semester? Did it. Can't graduate in this day and time in three in a half years from college? The head of the business department at Southwest Texas wished he had never challenged me. I was a force to be reckoned with when I wanted something, but over the years that has somewhat changed. Don't get me wrong I am still strong willed and "difficult", yeah substitute a word "here" for your personal description. I am learning however that I am not in control and in all reality don't want to be. I know God's plan is much better than mine even though my stubbornness still sometimes gets in the way.

So today as we receive unsettling news on the job front my initial reaction was to tell David to start looking and my second was to pray to Jesus to help guide us and present the opportunity that is in his plan. I continue to work on my anxiety and incessant need to worry and pray that Jesus will lead us to the place He has planned for us and provide for our family both physically and spiritually, as only He can.